Why?

Why do people never fail to surprise you?? why do things never seem what they are?

I have a few thousand other questions, but no answers yet.

Last night I was politely told, that I seem to have lost all passion, be it for living, sex, applying for jobs, anything. so now my struggle in life is to find my lost passion. I used to write every night when I was 21, and I remember that being my favorite part of life. Now at 28, I really miss writing, my passion for life stems from what I know myself to be, but in the past few years, people have told me various things contradictory to what I know myself to be. for instance, so far in life I believe I am a good writer, and someone told me I'm not, I did not stand up for myself. I should have, I just didn't.

I think I got really busy trying to earn money, to repay loans, pay my rent, usual everyday stuff, and my whole earning money thing, made me work like a machine, not paying attention to how I did anything, or what I uncovered in the process. I reached a point where I stopped learning anything new, or rather I was learning but the desire to learn was gone. I hated that. It was the worse thing to ever happen to me. I LOVE learning new things and I believe I can learn something from everything, every moment in life and EVERY EVENT.

I want to go back to this place, I want to find myself and I think writing this down is the first step. Its like the quote from some great person, (Martin Luther King Jr. - "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase"

I'm on my first step. :)